OLD, BUT GOOD

But don't let that last list make you think you can't do these things:

• Yell out loud at televised sports.
• Purposefully embarrass your children.
• Dress badly.
• Hate all new music on principle alone.
• Keep candy bars in the freezer, supposedly for young relatives.
• Order stuff from the Harry & David catalog.
• Say, "Yeah, that's what I thought when I was your age, too. Huh, huh. What a fucking idiot."