THAT'S BUD ... THAT'S BEER! Budweiser is hard to talk about. You can't really talk about, like, how it tastes because it tastes like beer. Other beers might taste like hops or barley or dull, moldy fruit or urine or like good beer or something. But Budweiser just has no characteristics: In Repo Man, when the characters were drinking stuff in white cans marked BEER in big Helvetica letters on the side, they probably poured out the stuff that came in the cans and put in Bud so it would taste more generic. But of course, this is Bud's very strength. Drinking Bud, with its automatic connotation of not being able to think of, afford, or really care much about anything else, is a kind of purloined letter of maleness. Whether it's Bud Light hidden behind the facade of an empty college-boy fridge ("FOOLED YA!"), an underground Bud party behind a facade of petite dresses ("SHOPPING SUCKS!"), or even Bud animal murders behind the facade of the innocent animal kingdom (the lizards, playing ethnic American white people to the Pepsi bug's Englishman qua bluesman), Bud is mysterious because it's hiding in plain sight, concealing the "secret" of Bud's very obviousness: that drinking Bud is like picking plaster off of walls, an act in the face of nothing better to do. Next... Let your taste decide