COME ALIVE! The first time as tragedy, the second time as a crummy Kahlua commercial, the third time? The third time not even as a thing, but rather as a lack, specifically a lack of JOHN ELWAY. In case you were busy thinking about JOHN ELWAY and missed it: A mosquito sucks up a pool of spilled Pepsi, grows huge lips, and starts singing about screwing slave girls. Mick Jagger only got to pretend to be a black man in order to have more fun; the bug gets to pretend to be both Mick Jagger and human. What takes the place of ELWAY? This ad, the diametrical opposite of rock and roll: The Stones used a literal, physical cooking ingredient as a way of talking about how racist sex made them burst (into song); the ad, incredibly, takes its cue from a Kahlua commercial in reading the song as if it's about, you know, something brown and sugary. What's euphemism backward? A dead-in-the-water Pepsi spot that felt like it ran eight or nine times during one of the most fun Super Bowls ever, proof that sports are better than food. Next... Who we serve proves how we serve