YOU CAN TELL A LOT ABOUT A PERSON ... by the way he or she invests!

People who actually know how to invest also ...

1. Organize their sock drawers.

2. Do their own taxes or at least understand them.

3. Drink eight 10-ounce glasses of water a day.

4. Iron their clothes or just look like they do.

5. Get their cars detailed.

6. Grow herbs in their gardens successfully.

7. Go on long walks to "clear my head" (as opposed to, say, taking a long nap or eating a pint of ice cream).

8. Watch the evening news to keep abreast of current trends.

9. Don't stutter or blush while proclaiming their interest in "keeping abreast of current trends."

People Who Don't Know How to Invest and Never Really Will

1. Say things like "It's a shame that the word 'lard-free' has to have the word 'lard' in it."