ARE YOU RESISTANT TO OVERPROFESSIONALISM?
Take this simple test and find out!

First, try saying the following phrases out loud:

"Would you like some fries to go with that?"

"Stay proactive, don't drop the ball, and we'll be looking at another bulletproof win-win."

"Well, I appreciate that, Judy, but it is my job to keep you happy."

"I've got some great socks that'll match that sweater."

Now, monitor yourself for any of the following symptoms:

• nervous laughter
• anxiety
• making tight fists/gnashing teeth
• profuse sweating
• claustrophobia
• severe self-loathing
• violent urges
• suicidal thoughts

If you do develop these symptoms, congratulations. You're naturally resistant to Overprofessionalism and, thus, immune to its spoils. Try to calm yourself down, now, and be sure to stay clear of any careers that require schmoozing for advancement.

Ahem. Except, unfortunately, no careers fit this description.

Sorry. Try investing in a good deodorant, a skilled therapist, and some anti-psychotic drugs instead. Or, try moving to a Third World country. Or else, build a little shack in the woods and make bombs. Otherwise, move to Texas and find an appropriate cult. Elseways, invest in a life of crime. Alternatively, start your own commercially unviable indie rock band.

MORAL: The world is a cruel place for the Highly Unprofessional.