Unfortunately for the patrons of such chain establishments, the appetizers in question are at once modestly portioned and poorly seasoned, yet have a high enough fat content to ensure that the customers have completely ruined their appetites once their similarly bland meals arrive.

A top sociologist in the field has also postulated that the abbreviations waiters and waitresses throw about like a language that even non-bilingual customers should understand, actually serves the double purpose of confusing and provoking customers subconsciously, particularly when posed as an inquiry.

In perhaps the coup de grâce, when the bill finally arrives, customers are too sluggish and sedated by the saturated fats and cholesterol to fight, and they're trapped like baby birds in the grip of the corporate restaurant chain.

The world's leading scientists may never fully comprehend these mysterious "appetizers," but through continued study, at least they'll inch closer to the truth about this bizarre ritual that so few of us understand.