Besides, why should I cast my Nielsen vote down there with the schmoes, the nitwits who really do love Raymond, the shmucks who actually like, actually ask for the slop the networks shovel out for them? Damn it, I'm already the Media Elite!

I'm a professional screenwriter. I reach millions of people and directly hobnob with the same boobs I struck out against with my Nielsen box!

Send a message to The Man? Baby, I am The Man!

words Ben Schwartz, AKA Bertoldt Blecht pictures Terry Colon

Bertoldt Blecht