He's a pro, she wants dough. He wants to get naughty with a hotty at all costs; she's polished to a high gloss. He's never tired or quiet or uninterested in sex; she's all about sex as long as a big ring comes next. Here's how it works. They cultivate a great sex life. Then she cuts off the fling until he delivers a ring. He nearly loses his mind and then makes an emergency trip to Tiffany's. And there you have it. He's in debt and working like a dog for the rest of his life, and she's sitting by the pool with her pals, comparing furniture swatches and planning their next trip to Italy. Isn't this the American dream, after all?

MR. SPIRITUAL + THE DRAMA QUEEN

You'd need the patience of a saint to put up with her insane mood swings. Luckily, he's vying for sainthood, albeit the new age kind signaled by a front page appearance in The Learning Annex. He doesn't laugh at her poetry, she doesn't laugh at his touchy-feely language, and they both take themselves and the world very, very, very seriously. These two get along incredibly well — which is a good thing, since the more time they spend together, the further out into the stratosphere they'll float, making communication with mere mortals well-nigh impossible.