I finally had a chance to see the mysterious Keyes face to face at a televised debate held in the LA Times building before the California primary. In a hilarious strategic blunder, Senator McCain decided he would only take part "via satellite." As a result he came off like a psychotic Max Headroom, with his hair-raising lies and half-baked accusations bursting out of a TV set placed on a stool next to his two flesh and blood opponents. What an asshole!

McCain's physical absence only contributed to the indifference that permeated the half-empty Media Room, where the only thing the reporters were excited about was the catered food that isn't always provided for them. Some of the younger journalists didn't even LISTEN to the debate — they just talked amongst themselves about CHICKS and SNOWBOARDING through the entire thing! Can't say I blame them, since this debate was a NON-news event if ever I saw one, what with Governor George W. Bush being the inevitable nominee before it even started... Pass the mustard, please!