Dave Eggers, author of A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius discussing Fiona Apple's appearance on Saturday Night Live: "Though her new album is nearly perfect and anyone who disagrees should be punched, her dance was annoying me. It was a broken, arm-flailing sort of dance, and her head was thrown down and her eyes closed, and it all seemed silly and made me uncomfortable. Then, then I thought of the alternative: that this singer of songs would simply stand there, waiting to sing again, without moving at all, or worse, trying to move in a way that seemed disinterested, cool, in some manner dignified. Then I thought of dignity, and whether or not she or anyone should ever try to act with dignity, and decided then and there that I did not like dignity much at all. Dignity is a cop-out. Dignity is for pussies." [Artforum]

Big apologies for the Eggersfest lately, but... Is dignity for pussies? Or are pussies attracted to undignified behavior as a means of exorcising demons? Do undignified pussies inevitably become more dignified in the "healing process," and then look back on their undignfied need for exposure as weak and immature and pathetic? Does not a once-slurring-and-vomiting Courtney Love inevitably stop, amid her hectic schedule of spinning classes and shopping sprees, and contemplate those breathtaking, brawling, sad-tomato years with some regret?

But does the undignified pussy care if he's the sacrificial lamb, if he believes that by exposing his vulnerability, and exposing the truth, he can pave the way for others to put a more honest face to the world, to stretch their thin-skinned necks across the guillotine and fearlessly try to ignore the impending blade? Or maybe he believes that by approaching self-exposure with such good faith and good intentions, he might create more good in the world, and the world would reward him by, say, giving him good press or, say, putting his book at the top of the bestsellers' list for weeks on end?

And, more importantly, would anyone but a pussy worry about what he'll think about himself, looking back, ten years from now when he's old and crusty anyway? Why else would tattoos still be considered tough?

Or would anyone but a pussy think that it doesn't matter what happens once he's old and crusty? Isn't it a pussy-ass thing to think of an old version of yourself as lame and worthless, even though you know that's exactly what you'll be?

Finally, and most importantly, should such topics be tackled in a cartoon in which the humor usually centers around stupid puns and little animals hitting the bong?