2000

Sold again! Suck completes the next leg of its corporate ownership tour, Automatic Media, a new venture featuring sites that are even hotter and hipper than Lycos. Sadly, the deal is not completed until after the April 2K market crash, furthering Suck's track record of perfectly lousy timing. Some observers say we're desperately fighting the great content collapse. Others aver that the whole company is the saddest investor-fleecing scheme the web has offered up to date. But at Suck HQ, we know the future is now, and we're brainstorming accordingly.