After being convinced by my fellow reporters that the REAL story was happening OUTSIDE the Staples Center (and not wanting to endure another day of the stupefying, sanctimonious speeches that were sure to be going on inside it), I decided to spend the second day of the Convention in the great outdoors, amongst the REAL people yearning to have their messages heard. BIG MISTAKE!

For the most part all I saw were small groups of CRACKPOTS, many of them of the right-wing Christian you're-all-going-to-hell-for-supporting-abortion variety yelling and hollering in all directions, while the various left-wing crackpots shouted equally inane nonsense back at them. The First Amendment suddenly seemed like a REALLY BAD IDEA.

Then there were groups of colored t-shirt-coordinated "legitimate" protesters: striking laborers and the like, totally exhausted after a day of parading in the boiling hot sun, wondering if a dollar-per-hour raise is really worth getting a heat stroke over. But the most insane looking people of all were the black clad, helmeted, armed-to-the teeth cops who would form a tense circle around any group that started to chant — JUST IN CASE. Who's gonna get out of hand in this heat?!?

It was SO boring that I was sorely tempted to hurl a rock at a cop while standing behind a group of weird looking kids holding "Vote for Bob Dobbs" picket signs, figuring they'd be sure to take the blame for it while I'd have my front row seat to a red-hot "exclusive." I didn't of course, though if I did I'm sure I wouldn't have been the only journalist there to attempt such a stunt. A scoop's a scoop, after all!