Suck.com: Daily

THE POPE — A long, white robe and a tall pointed hat. If that can't be funny, what can?

ANGELS — That halo is rife with comic possibilities, especially when attached to a wire coming out of the back of the head. Plus it glows; it's just funny somehow. Change its shape, size, and angle (make it a bagel), and giggles are sure to follow. The wings and harp are OK, but the halo is the money shot.

MOSES — Think of Charlton Heston with a beard in a robe carrying two tablets instead of a rifle.

GOD — A halo AND a beard AND a robe AND a fancy chair: Four times funny equals hilarious.

BUDDHA — A chubby bald guy in an orange toga sitting on top of a mountain. Funny? Say, "kwats."

MOHAMMED THE MESSENGER — Don't even consider it unless you want to hide out with Salman Rushdie in a shack in Montana.

MONKS — A hooded robe and that goofy bald-spot haircut says monk. Sit them at antique writing tables, copying manuscripts with feather quills. Many people think feather quills are funny; don't ask why, just go with it. There are other comic possibilities here, but to be honest, making fun of Christians has been just about squeezed dry.

WITCH DOCTORS — Lots of tattoos and anything through the nose is funny. Consider how ridiculous all those trendy hipster types look. Witch doctors often wear masks, which is the best bet for easy laughs. A self-shrunken head is good for a chuckle ... once.

THE DEVIL — The mother lode of cartoon funniness. A bald, naked guy with red skin, horns, a tail, bat wings (optional), a goatee (or Van Dyke), cloven hooves, and a trident. Toss in fire, brimstone, and some naked dead people and you can't go wrong. Plus you can have lots of fun playing with that great slogan of his, "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here." That "ye" alone is funnier than anything you'll find in Heaven.

DEATH — Hooded robe, skull, skeleton, scythe: The whole package is funny in and of itself. If you can't make this material funny, you'd better consider a new career where wit isn't needed, like fine art.*

GHOSTS — Casper has pretty much ruined it for us all. Forget it.

* Fine art is just like comic art only BIGGER.

RELIGIOUS/MYTHIC FIGURES THE POPE — A long, white robe and a tall pointed hat. If that can't be funny, what can? ANGELS — That halo is rife with comic possibilities, especially when attached to a wire coming out of the back of the head. Plus it glows; it's just funny somehow. Change its shape, size, and angle (make it a bagel), and giggles are sure to follow. The wings and harp are OK, but the halo is the money shot. MOSES — Think of Charlton Heston with a beard in a robe carrying two tablets instead of a rifle. GOD — A halo AND a beard AND a robe AND a fancy chair: Four times funny equals hilarious. BUDDHA — A chubby bald guy in an orange toga sitting on top of a mountain. Funny? Say, "kwats." MOHAMMED THE MESSENGER — Don't even consider it unless you want to hide out with Salman Rushdie in a shack in Montana. MONKS — A hooded robe and that goofy bald-spot haircut says monk. Sit them at antique writing tables, copying manuscripts with feather quills. Many people think feather quills are funny; don't ask why, just go with it. There are other comic possibilities here, but to be honest, making fun of Christians has been just about squeezed dry. WITCH DOCTORS — Lots of tattoos and anything through the nose is funny. Consider how ridiculous all those trendy hipster types look. Witch doctors often wear masks, which is the best bet for easy laughs. A self-shrunken head is good for a chuckle ... once. THE DEVIL — The mother lode of cartoon funniness. A bald, naked guy with red skin, horns, a tail, bat wings (optional), a goatee (or Van Dyke), cloven hooves, and a trident. Toss in fire, brimstone, and some naked dead people and you can't go wrong. Plus you can have lots of fun playing with that great slogan of his, "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here." That "ye" alone is funnier than anything you'll find in Heaven. DEATH — Hooded robe, skull, skeleton, scythe: The whole package is funny in and of itself. If you can't make this material funny, you'd better consider a new career where wit isn't needed, like fine art.* GHOSTS — Casper has pretty much ruined it for us all. Forget it. * Fine art is just like comic art only BIGGER.
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