The Pageant is run by (and overrun WITH) a bunch of bow-adjusting, under-employed volunteer matronly types, as well as numerous hired gay coaches and advisors (or "mentors," as they prefer to be called). They were all very protective of "The Girls," and would constantly fuss over them — and over everything and everyone else, for that matter. The matrons would even fuss over ME, every time I had a question or got lost on the way to a press conference. Fuss Fuss Fuss!

They were just trying to be helpful and nice, though. In fact, "niceness" abounded at the Miss America Pageant. I was DROWNING in Niceness! NICE NICE NICE!

Even the mothers of the contestants were on their best behavior, in spite of their murderous reputations. They did all seem to be of a type though, with their loud, Cosby-esque ski sweaters; and they all sported same short, harsh, fresh-for-the-pageant salt and pepper hairdos. These moms are NOT to be messed with, that's for sure.

Meanwhile, the poor dads all struck me as benign, "supportive" afterthoughts. In almost every interview I heard or read the contestants would thank and credit their domineering mothers for everything, while rarely even mentioning their doormat dads. Female domination appears to be the rule in your typical beauty pageant household, in spite of the reactionary appearance of the pageants themselves