Press Conference Time! This one's for the "Quality of Life" Scholarship Awards, given out to the four contestants who've done the most to further their chosen "platform" or cause. All four of these super-achiever ya-gotta-believers were very thoughtful and articulate, and what they've already accomplished in their short little lives is mind-boggling. While most of their peers were getting wasted and listening to reprehensible rap music, they were vaccinating babies in Outer Mongolia or teaching retards how to tie their shoes. I couldn't decide if they were all great or if the rest of us just plain ol' SUCK.

One of the award recipients was also this year's token Handicapped Contestant: Miss Iowa, who was born without a left hand. Yet even though she bravely and brazenly showed off her stump while parading around in her swimsuit during the telecast (one of the few truly sexy moments in a show that was otherwise as sexy as an issue of McCALLS), she was wearing this scary looking, Dr. Strangelove-like fake hand while accepting her award — presumably so she could HOLD the damn thing, but it sure made her "I'm just like everybody else" speech sound a lot weirder than I think she intended.