I'M YOUR FIGHT-STARTER

Sooner or later, you'll notice that the most invigorating, entertaining aspects of dating are sex and fighting. Since you really want to get the most bang for your buck, and you can only do so much to guarantee lots of sex, try to focus your efforts on maximizing the number of times you fight.

Sounds tough? Well, it's important to keep in mind that, in almost every seemingly harmless situation, there are countless opportunities to incite a battle. Here are just a few....

Predict Negative Behavior

Criticize Lack of Upbringing

Draw Sweeping Generalities (Bonus: Use the Word "Always")

Assume It's About You

Dredge Up the Past

Question Decision-Making (Bonus: Use the Word "Always")

Pointlessly and Ruthlessly Insult