Type 2: Forever in Blue Jeans

You had a nose twice as big as the rest of your face for several crucial years in junior high. Your parents rarely socialized and had an eccentric, alienated approach to the world, so you entered junior high with all the social skills of an orangutan.

Eventually, instead of trying to fit in with the cool kids, you made your own set of friends with similarly alienated attitudes. You sublimated your need to be cool into resentment and began to specialize in making snide comments to those you saw as overconfident, shallow types.

Interestingly enough, you'll never quite live down your nerdy years, and so you'll spend the better half of your young adult life trying to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that you're the coolest in the land, keeping your finger on the pulse of the next big thing and spouting urban-hipster mantras at every turn.