for 2 February 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY.
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Filler don't fret ... deep down inside, we all know you are a good kid who wouldn't swat a fly truly, gina <Rotschift@aol.com> I am neither a kid nor good and swat flies every chance I get. See also: evil and incompetent. Sorry. Fretfully yours, Polly  Subject: Riding the Wave of Nyquil Jesus. It's always something with you: coffee, Valium, Nyquil, crack ... some excuse for acting antisocial and deranged. But let's face it: You're just fucked in the head and incapable of getting any sort of satisfaction or meaning from life. All you can hope for is to die young, before you suffer alone through excruciating struggles with various tumors, strokes, and blood clots. Your pal, So-So Stu <sosostu@hotmail.com> Hmm. Someone who refers to himself as "So-So" is telling me I'll never be happy. Can you say "transference"? Meaningfully, Perfect Polly Hit & Run Dear Sucksters, This is about the lovable David Bowie and his ever-increasing move into the future. Recently, during the Net Aid dull-o-rama-fest, Bowie was yakking on about his involvement in the global World Wide Web, etc., etc. Except amusingly enough, instead of stating the term "Web site," the man of "Laughing Gnome" would say "Homebase" — the name of a UK Kmart–type store — again and again. "I've started a new Homebase"; "A lot of my new music will be available at my Homebase for next to nothing" (sad but true); "people can come to my Homebase and shop around, choose what they want, and get it for free" (if only such an approach to shopping were entirely successful). Mildly titillating, don't you think? Jerome Bradshaw <jeremy.bradshaw@strath.ac.uk> Nobody in the Suck mail room recalls any of Ziggy's antics being even mildly titillating. Except that time he gave Lou Reed a big wet kiss. Homebase is the name of at least two different chain stores: one in the UK and one in the Western United States. Bowie's use of the name is another of those post-hipster efforts to concoct a more dynamic term than Web site. Past attempts have included cyberstation, Net space, and the unsung Web toilet. Still, Web site lives on in all its uncool glory. Uncoolly, Tim California is having a teacher shortage. What we need is a zero tolerance attitude in our hoodlum schools. I grew up with such a system. It was called the '50s. <rrfolsom@ webtv.net> Easy, there, RR. You sound like that hard-ass cop who was always looking to bust the Fonz just for being a greaser. He even tried to haul Fonzie in for carrying his signature switch-comb. Man, that guy made my blood boil! Yr pal, Tim Is it possible that Sega's Poo-Chi will sell so well with women in the 20-plus age group because the $30 companion has more intelligence and takes less maintenance than most men in that age group? Need I say more? Sincerely, Ginger PS I'm not your mother OR your wife, so do it yourself! Woo-hoo, ain't it the truth, Ginger? Those men! Can't live with 'em, can't shoot 'em! And how about those politicians in Washington? Can you believe those jerks? And what is up with those airline peanuts? What is up with that, people? But the weirdest thing about going to the dentist is when you're sitting there in the chair, and he uses that instrument that's really wacky but funny in a scary way! Dj'ever notice that? Thanks a lot, Ginger, you've been a great audience. the Sucksters Is Ananova the female equivalent of Max Headroom? Paul Vincent Winnipeg, Canada She's the English equivalent of Suck's own Attica O'Leary, and we intend to sue. Yrs litigiously, Tim Filler Polly, You are one warped, twisted little person. I like that. Keep up the kick-ass work about the diluted life. JoeE <christos3000@hotmail.com> Well, I was focusing mostly on the deluded life, but come to think of it, the concept of the diluted life is worth pursuing as well. Some people dilute their lives with whiskey and women of ill repute. Others dilute their lives with investment strategies and vacation plans. Others dilute their lives with complicated relationships and yoga. Others dilute their lives with grapefruit soda and bad TV. Diluting is a double-edged sword: If you have a tendency to live in your head too much, it can keep you focused on the concrete. It can take some of the neurotic edge off of things. But if you dilute too much, you might just wake up one morning and say, "Holy shit, I've done nothing but drink grapefruit soda and watch bad TV for the last six months!" Dilution can be its own form of delusion. Yours in undiluted delusion, Polly Just this last Tuesday The New York Times had an article in the Science Times section about the woeful inability of the incompetent to accurately judge their own performance. You might want to read it. lucas phillips <lucas@futureperf.com> I'm absolutely unable to judge my own performance, but something tells me your performance has been lacking for years now. Have you tried watching videos first? You know, to get in the mood? Polly Subject: Cows Why don't you write some stuff about cows? I never see cows in Filler. I like cows. Kevin Connelly <connelly@gene.com> Cows. Are cows funny? Cows aren't evil, that's for sure. I think you have to be evil to be funny. Evil or incompetent. Hence Pat Buchanan's dual appeal. Polly There is nothing better then sitting down and polishing off a nice cool bottle of Nyquil while reading Filler. I prefer the green stuff cause it gives a little extra kick over that pussy Dayquil shit they try to pass off to people who want to "be productive" and "have good motor skills." I find the extra challenge of driving while completely zombiefied on Nyquil exhilarating and enlightening. So excuse me while I take another round. I loved this Filler; don't take any shit from some schmoe who doesn't know the power of over-the-counter drugs. Faithful Suck fan, Nathan Schill <nas@yourinter.net> Uh ... green stuff? The Nyquil I had was red. It used to be green though, didn't it? Or does it come in different colors? I have to say, that pussy Dayquil shit is a very exciting shade of orange. Fighting the power of over-the-counter drugs, Polly |
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Forsyth, " we're just spanning time "]](/fish/staff/images/brian.gif)
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pixie... ]](/fish/staff/images/emily.gif)
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Connelly]](/fish/staff/images/ian.gif){kind=small}