The Fish
for 28 March 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY.
Suck Staff
 

Joey Anuff
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Havrilesky
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Senior Editor

 

[Copy Edit]
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Copy Editor

 

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Phillip Bailey
Production Editor








	
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Cox
Ana Marie Cox
Executive Editor

 

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Welch
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T. Jay Fowler
Production Manager
& Ass Kicker

 

[yes, it's
a plunger. i'll l
eave the rest up to your imagination ... ]
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Production Manager

 

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Goode
Monte Goode
Ghost in the Machine

 

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Matt Beer
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[Brian
Forsyth, " we're just spanning time "]
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[the fixin'
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Production Manager
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[Ian
Connelly]
Ian Connelly
Marketing Manager



The Jawbone of a
Scare Quote


in your article for today's
edition of suck, you wrote:

"Let's make a pledge right
now. If you ever find you
need quotation marks up
against a word or phrase so
you can tell a sarcastic
insult from a straightforward
one around here, let us know.
We'll fix things right up.
You want that shirt of
vituperation, you won't have
to "mess" with any
typographical snakes to get
it. And that's not any
Mazola, friend: that's a
promise."

how about:

"Kaufman, a lecturer in
American Studies at a
university in England, has
written an entire book
predicated on a stray remark
of Kurt Vonnegut, that
'American humorists or
satirists or whatever you
wish to call them, those who
choose to laugh rather than
weep about demoralizing
information, become
intolerably unfunny
pessimists if they live past
a certain age.' Never mind
that some of the subjects of
the book, like stand-ups
Lenny Bruce and Bill Hicks,
didn't exactly make it to 'a
certain age,' or thatothers,
like Herman Melville and
Sinclair Lewis, were always
more pessimistic than
humorous: An academic book
that tells its readers that
all irony, even its highest
literary manifestations, is a
priori doomed, is bound to
please a lot of people who
would rather social critics
like Lenny Bruce and Sinclair
Lewis never even went through
the
laughing-rather-than-weeping
phase, much less the
intolerably pessimistic one.
'Irony fatigue,' a phrase
Kaufman coined looking for
what American
humorist/pessimist Fran
Lebowitz described as 'undue
fanfare,' is a concept whose
time has come. Even as
knowing a filmmaker as John
Waters, never exactly Frank
Capra, ends his latest film
Pecker with a toast to the
end of irony. We've come a
long way from what Spy
magazine in the '80s labeled
"the irony epidemic." The
Irony Backlash has set in.
Everyone is tired of the
trickled-down and facile
irony that pretty much
defines the media sensibility
of recent years; now, a
professor gives the people
who never liked any kind of
irony, facile or otherwise,
the chance to declare it
self-destructive and
unproductive. Unfunniness and
optimism, freed from their
shackles, can reign in the
land once more, and shine on
us even at midnight. I feel
warmer already."

(see also joshua glenn's
"fake authenticity: an
introduction" for scare
quotes run rampant.)

despite the perceived
inconsistency, however, i
appreciate your analysis of
the phenomenon as well as
your writing in general, and
look forward to reading more.
(this will include, of
course, a more thorough
exploration of the hermenaut
site as time permits.)

Jim Kuemmerle
<J.Kuemmerle@m.cc.utah.edu>

While writing about scare
quotes, I learned many
things. Among them? The New
York Times
used to write
better headlines. Weeks go by
now with barely a mention of
wolf girls or
whisky-demanding bandits
there.

That's because the world has
changed. And so have I. So
please don't GET ON ME for
the lapses of that
pretentious BUM Hamrah.

How do you feel about all
caps instead?

I appreciate your research.
Thanks for outing me. The
world may have changed, but
it can only be for the better
when we're unafraid to be who
we really are.

Slotcar Hatebath
 
Fish With Letter Icon
 


Hey Slot,

I enjoyed this one a lot.
Today's essay put into words
several vague ideas that had
been swimming around the back
of my half-semi-subconscious.

I believe that in the
greatest of current writing,
both words and punctuation
should have meaning. As
televised culture threatens
to make readers into little
more than a literary cult, it
is up to the "true" readers
to put depth of meaning
beyond the reach of "couch
potato America". Just for
fun, take an inventory
sometime of all the words NPR
disdains with their
"so-called" quotes.

Ironically,


Rich
<richard.banks@cpa.state.tx.us>

That's because National
Public Radio is where scare
quotes meet air quotes. The
little jingles that brackett
everything on NPR are perhaps
are form of quotation marks
around all they do.

Slotcar
 
Fish With Letter Icon
 


Use and Abuse

-loved- today's article. *s*
(insert healthy contempt for
the 'average user' engendered
by time spent in tech
support)

my retail site has just one
hoop, and that's just in case
of the unlikely event there
are ever scantily-clad humans
demonstrating the products
*sigh* all six customers thus
far haven't seemed to mind.

take a look. maybe you'll be
amused.

Rafe
Proprietor & Lead
Deviant
www.digitaldiscipline.com

Amused? More like amazed. Who
knew goth marital aids were
so expensive? Hae you
considered buying in bulk,
then selling them as tech
support devices?

Pixel Vixen
 
Fish With Letter Icon
 


With the number of new
computer users and web
surfers that keep getting
added to the fray every day
(not to mention the
entrepeneurs trying to make
money off of these people) it
ends up becoming the
equivalent of urban
sprawl--too many sites being
built too quickly-with no
attention paid to whether or
not people can easily access
the things they need. If you
have to drive around three
brand new mini-malls to get
to the grocery store, you
haven't progressed at all.

Keep the suck sucking!!!

Robert C.

You know, you've just
outlined the premise for Mike
Davis' new book: City of
Silicon: Excavating the
Profit Line.


Consider the similarities
between the Web model you put
forth and Los Angeles:

- both are filled with people
attracted to shiny objects

- both require inordinate
amounts of time simply to get
anything done

- LA has air smog; the Web
has data smog

- Studio business model:
banking on ephemeral
celebrity; Web business

model: banking on ephemeral
stock

Pixel Vixen
 
Fish With Letter Icon
 


Of late, rewarding bogus
competence ("My Child Is A
Super Student At Nosebleed
Elementary") has drowned real
achievement. The unfortunate
answer is that the programmer
was right: the users are
stupid. This will only get
worse as the Web audience
expands beyond the yokels
sporting aol.com addresses
and gets to those with full
frontal lobotomies, the
beneficiaries of sustained
electroshock therapy, and
Democrats. I can only hope
none of these savants end up
in technical support -- on
either side of the phone.

Rob McMillin
<rlm@pricegrabber.com>

I admire your joie de malice,
but really — bogus
competence has been very good
to me. How else do you think
I ended up writing this?

Pixel Vixen
 
Fish With Letter Icon
 


Hurrah! Well written, and
echoes truths bound to leave
the inane buggered and the
web marketers choking on
their own latex inflatable
ego.

As a technology manager
trying (I emphasize trying)
to implement an e-commerce
system for a major financial
services company, very few
understand that Functionality
and Usability are the
priority when trying to
develop a tool to lead to
success. I cannot possibly
cite the number of instances