for 28 June 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY.
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Filler You can't start fires with someone's eyeglasses! Nearsighted people wouldn't be able to watch a sunset without their eyeballs bursting into flame. You can't trust the stuff you read in them newfangled book things. SMTIRCAHIAGEHLT Michael Straight <straight@email.unc.edu>  Polly, I'm not sure what to do here. It's not your fault - you seem to be doing fine work. But I'm finding Suck and Filler rather unsatisfying lately - in fact, many of the hundreds of online magazines I read and correspond with daily are leaving me cold. It's like losing your taste for donuts. Maybe it's my brain's way of telling me to get my act together - like the time I carried a load of laundry up the stairs panting and wheezing and realized I had to get to a dojo pronto. Ê I know I've threatened to leave you before - but this time it could be for real. So long, my fried confection. Yrs, Colin Oh man Polly, are saying in todays filler that you don't run marathons? I've been in training for the last couple weeks, hoping to somehow impress you with my own racing prowess, maybe at the next major Bay Area 26 miler. But now I guess its time to put away the sneakers, the shorts and the sweatband and get back to what I was doing before, running highly profitable drug dealing operation masquerading as an excluse East Coast tech school. I hope things haven't gotten out of hand in the meth lab. And another thing, no matter how much a decietful bitch you are, you still write circles around Bartel. Ciao Ben <bschwabe@po11.mit.edu> Hi Cerebral Polly, OK, so? Maybe not your best "at bat" for the year, but you could certainly run circles around mediocre minds like myself (even without carrot juice). Yeah, I suppose it's not easy to know what you're writing about until you've re-written it a few times. You could be a lot worse. I mean, here I am rambling in the first paragraph. Good God, what a trainwreck of a letter this is turning out so far. Greg Pyatt <squeaktoy2000@hotmail.com> Due to the generally poor response to Filler's Survivor-based episode (most of it from fans who should be offering Polly unconditional support rather than carping at her efforts), we have voted to kick Polly Esther off the Suck island. We're looking forward to Polly's guest appearance on Bryant Gumbel's Early Show. Sucksters Subject: you are so cool polly, I just wanted to tell you how cool you are. This morning, instead of typing www.thesuck.net, I typed www.filler.com. I think you should go solo, five days a week. Nick Palombo <nick@ditto.com> We agree, Nick! Why should some Certified Public Accountant in the Pine Tree State get all the action? Goddamn Maine CPAs, always muscling in on somebody else's action. Sucksters Bring Out Yer Dead Thanks so much for dredging up Hunter S. Thompson's excellent obit of Nixon. I've always liked the sheer viturperance of that piece. It also glistens with hope for me, as it reminds me of how I celebrated the death of Nixon. The weekend after he croaked, I went with my friend Simon to the Yankee game and sat in the bleachers, surely New York's unparalleled summer debauch. Or at least it was until they stopped selling beer in the bleachers. Anyway, a few minutes before the start of the game, the Voice of God, Bob Sheppard, came over the PA and asked the crowd to observe a moment of silence for our fallen leader, Richard Milhouse Nixon. Having been raised in a good Jewish liberal Democrat household, I was outraged. Of course, it seemed appropriate, given how Yankee owner George Steinbrenner broke the law by contributing too much to RMN's campaign, but still I had to do something. So in the heat-laden silence, I yelled out "THIEF! MURDERER! BASTARD!" I fully expected the NYPD to escort me back to River Avenue, but instead, I was joined by the cheers and applause of the largely Latino fan base in the bleachers. There is hope, my friend. Regards, Ben Rothfeld> <Benjamin.Rothfeld@thinkinc.com> Hi, Ben: To make matters worse, Nixon was a football man. — 40SB To 40th Street, The politician you are refering to your article is William Jennings Bryant, with a "t." I thought you might like to know for future reference. Matt Petrone <mookerp2@yahoo.com> Thanks, Matt. When I first read your note, I thought, "Are you telling me majoring in history isn't even good for remembering history?" Then I looked at my Webster's biographical dictionary, and it had Bryan with no "t." I have no choice by to agree with my Webster's, because it's the only reference book I own. A simple web search shows tons of spellings both ways, so this is a common disputed spelling. That damn William Cullen Bryant can't be helping matters any. — 40SB Mike Szilagyi wrote: 40th Street Black, Your article about obituaries struck a chord with me in that it is yet another example of the media becoming popularized and as result, watered down in actual content. Your piece illustrated this well, I thought. Keep up the good work and thanks for a good read. Mike Szilagyi <mikeszilagyi@lunarcorp.com> Thanks for the compliment, Mike. I'm glad you enjoyed the piece. The only thing scarier than watered-down content is content that is so content free it doesn't have to be watered down. — 40SB I pretty much agree with your take on modern obit writing. That's why, five years ago, I started GoodBye! The Journal of Modern Obituaries. I think you'll find a fair number of eviscerations (cf Wallace) but also a number of raves (Mitford) and in betweens (Schulz). Full text available online (www.goodbyemag.com) I don't know how I've missed Mencken on Bryan. Classic. Cheers, Steve <copyboy@goodbyemag.com> Thanks, Steve. I enjoyed the site quite a bit, and am only happy to be able to recommend something that allows me to stay pissed off about the stuff I was talking about in the essay. Best, — 40SB This should at least get an honorable mention ;) I've read SUCK for a long time, but never written to say thanks for all the great work "Thanks" ok, now I feel better. David Beach <davidb@rcwegman.com> Hi, David: Thanks for writing, and thanks for pointing out the amusing article. I think he's onto something — any bad feelings that come with writing disrespectfully of the dead would be overwhelmed by America's unending delight in mafia-focused entertainment. — 40SB Not a patch on your Suck essay, but the WSJ ran a frisky obituary when Bart the Bear died. Couple or few weeks back, but you need a subscription to get to the online version, or a Lexis-Nexis account, to see it. Cheers! <ess@blkbox.com> Thanks. Any obituary that devitates from the norm is a good thing. I feel better after reading these Fish letters than I did when I ended writing the piece, even though what's been pointed out seem to be definite exceptions proving the rule. Best, — 40SB |
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![[Tim Cavanaugh]](/fish/staff/images/tim.gif)
![[Phillip Bailey]](/fish/staff/images/phil.gif){kind=small}
