for 28 July 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY. |
![[Tim Cavanaugh]](/fish/staff/images/tim.gif)
Tim Cavanaugh Special Guest Editor 
Terry Colon Art Director 
Heather Havrilesky Senior Editor ![[Phillip Bailey]](/fish/staff/images/phil.gif){kind=small}
Phillip Bailey Production Editor 
Joey Anuff Publisher 
|
INDY 2000
Pete, 
The Indy-CART thing has been going on for some time. I don't really know the specs of the cars, but Indy is just standard NASCAR style gor round in circles type stuff. CART racing is huge in Europe - I'm not certain, but I think that Mike Schumaker makes more money than Mike Jordan. Anyways, Nascar sucks, I don't care what anyone says. Indy is a little better I guess, and I'm sure you had a good time there. Where the hell is thesuck.net getting money to send your ass all over the place anyways? I know your Learjet is reserved for your personal use. I'm sorry to hear about Yeah! getting cancelled. It was a great book, but DC has plenty of "The Invisibles" to push on everyone. I got the last issue the same week Ball Aerospace fired my ass. Oh well. Cisco There was a lot of talk about Formula 1 making its debut next year at the Indy raceway, with a slightly altered NOT go-round-in-circles race course. As if I care — unless the latter means more crashes, in which case I'M THERE! As for Suck.com's "deep pockets": all I can say is you should have seen the truckstop motel we stayed at (the lady on page 4 who dropped something on her ass was the motel's manager). Peter Bagge  Hey Bagge! I loved your piece on the Indy 500. That was funny as hell and pretty true to life too. Next time it might be even funnier if you try taking some minorities with you to the 'races'. See what kind of reaction you get then! Add some color to the last bastion of trailer park trash crackery in the good ol USA! k.Allen Flynn &rt;k.flynn@worldnet.att.net> The crowd at the Indy 500 wasn't as nearly as Caucasian as I thought it would be, and a lot of the drivers themselves were Latin American (including the winner). Still, I did consider of asking one of the few black fans at the 500 "what's it like to be black and at the 500?", but that may well have been the only racist comment that person might have heard all day, so I kept my mouth shut. Plus, unlike your typical small town demolition derby, The Indy 500 isn't very redneck at all for the most part. It was rather yuppyish, in fact. Peter Bagge oh sucksters... what the heck is going on. one day's suck just brought up the previous weeks (i believe you sent [me at least] the 11th's column out on the 18th--and never corrected it) then, yesterday some recycle from memorial day and the INDY 500?!?! without labeling or warning. and it was a really lame piece anyway (i mean why lose sight of your irony for the indianapolis 500, ferchrisakes) whats up with that? or maybe your just not aware that your delivery system also sucks of late. hoping you care, Jon Dohlin Well, John, for the knee jerk irony you seem to prefer, I'd suggest David Letterman, who is still into that late-'90s (actually mid-'80s) irony for irony's sake stuff. Sorry, but the minute Pete and I set foot in Indianapolis we realized the city was irony-proof and hardcore Face Value on everything it served up, like the locals who stood for every flag in the Memorial Day parade (including one made up of a giant red, white, and blue parachute carried as a giant skirt by over fifty red, white, and blue clad girls) and who then didn't bat an eye when a the Red Baronİ frozen pizza-sponsored float rolled past a War Memorial that included names of those killed in World War I by the Baron and his friends, presumably before German war criminals started making such great iced pizzas. Letterman was surely the only ironic man to ever leave Indy, and most likely because they didn't get his sense of humor any more than I do. And yes, Jon, "we care." Bertolt Bleckett, author of "Waiting for My Dough" Where do you come up with this stuff?! No, literally...I wanna visit your office. I just happened upon this website yesterday and already I'm submersed in a world of disillusioned cynicism, crack-rabbits, and talking/floating fish. Finally, a place on the internet that reflects my interests and beliefs! Anyhoo, love the archives...I see I have a lot of catching up to do. I'm doing my part to spread the love here in Atlanta and back at school in Athens - I'm gonna earn a damn t-shirt sometime, I know it! Until then, rest assured that you'll hear more from your earnest new supporter at the University of Georgia. And finally, as a complete non-sequitor, I must fulfill my duty as a college student and say Zeppelin and Boston rule! Whooooo!!! Rock on!!! Toodles, Loren Kippels--on the job as Fitzgerald+Co's faithful account services (advertising) intern. Don't worry, you'll get my resume soon enough... "Toodles?!?" You're our kind of reader Loren, and we're sorry you're no longer in the Escondido area, but spread Suck love where ever you go. Bertolt Blechter Damn, you got it all so... right. The thing about the Indy race explains it all, and the Pee Boy drawings are just icing on the cake. I grew up in Cedar Rapids, Iowa where dirt track racing was practically a religion. Dear old dad schlepped us off to the track every freaking chance he got. Oh, how can I forget the filth. They don' t call it dirt track fer nothing. It's either choking dust or sloppy mud flung everywhere. Then who could forget the butt ugly cars, American sedans of every stripe: chevelles and cutlasses and fairlanes. Hulking refugees from the junk yard all, one step from scrapper. Then there was the endless inane debate over Ford v. Chevy (they both suck, by the way) . But most memorable of all, the godawful NOISE. My little sister would hide under the grandstands with her hands over her ears, crying her little eyes out. Good point about the death thing . People certainly are drawn to the possibility of accidental death or dismemberment.Then again, there were the wrecks that weren't accidents. The hick drivers would often run into each other on purpose. And the audience sometimes gets in on the fun. I once saw a tire fly into the stands that killed a spectator. Finally, let us not forget the drinking and brawling among the audience. Then, the drinking and brawling among the drivers (usually after the race). All and all a real family night out. Is this a great country, or what? Sincerely, Mike "the all-American boy" Chicchelly Wow, a guy with no love for racing and not a care in the world when we ran it! You blow the curve on our demographics, but welcome to Suck, Mike! Yeah, the Indy 500 brought back blue collar nostalgia for both Pete and myself (which is why we initially loved Indianapolis) but we too found ourselves, as the speculative fiction crowd might put it, strangers in a strange land. However, Indy fans at the track were not the drinkin' and brawlin' types you mention. That annual party is held at the corner of Georgetown and 16th just outside the track, where trailer park citizens line the streets with flatbed trucks, pitch tents, Budweiserİ halter tops, and mullet haircuts aplenty to watch the slickers come in from all over (kind of like the Indianians Spielberg had waiting on the road side for his aliens in "Close Encounters"). Sitting in lawn chairs with their bare feet up on coolers, we're the parade for them: a bunch of trendy, booboisie middle class race fans with our SUVs, camcorders, fannypacks, and tivas, making the trek to Dogpatch for the annual Roarathon 500. "Pee Boy"? Does Pete know you call him that? Bertolt Blecht and Blue Do people still debate the merits of Ford vs. Chevy? I thought that argument had been settled (they both suck) years ago! Now it's Honda vs. Subaru, and I'm a Subaru man all the way. Don't mess with us Legacy owners! Peter B INDY 2000 Sucksters
Maybe I just don't fit the general demographic profile of your readers, but I read Suck daily and know more than I care to recount about auto racing (on account of my dad raced cars for thirty years). Anyway, I enjoyed today's piece about the Indy 500. Wasn't that in, uh, May? Chris Rasmussen Glad you enjoyed our Indy 500 piece Chris, and no, you don't fit our demographic, as we know for a fact that Suck readers know nothing about auto racing and find calendars and their individual "dates" too much a nuisance to take seriously. FYI, the average Suck reader is an Asian female aged 58-64 with two or more kids living somewhere near Escondido. The reader profile you fit is that of Feed, our new strategic internet partner, which is a 24-hour interactive auto-racing fetish site that "date" stamps each and every new item they run. Given that our demographic and their demographic reciprocate perfectly (they are a proven circulation death watch for Asian females aged 58-64 with two or more kids living near Escondido, while we of course, OWN that bunch) we feel our Sucking and Feeding synergy will prove to be the internet market dynamo that finally helps us surpass Amazon.com in annual net profits. Bertolt Blecht Dear Bertolt & Peter, Did somebody miss a deadline? I enjoyed it anyway. (By the way, I work with two guys who literally lock themselves in their homes with a case of Jack Daniels and a bottle of beer every Memorial Day, just to watch this spectacle on TV.) On another topic: Sucksters: don't let yourselves be bought by big(ger) corporate interests! Keep your edge, instead. Richard Banks richard.banks@cpa.state.tx.us> Deadline, dates — yawn. You'd love Feed, pally. Look, Pete and I are now definite racing culture aficionados and so when Pete suggested we lock ourselves in a room with a case of Jack Daniels and a bottle of beer and knock this thing out in record time and then get down to Escondido for a little mai tai action, I was all for it. But once the Suck fact checking dept. started off with their whole "They call it the Indy 500 because it takes place in Indianapolis, not Annapolis" whine of reasoning, it took forEVER to finish. We're not so sure about the Feed merger anyway, since both Amy Tan and Margaret Cho (who actually is between the ages of 58-64) called us "sell-outs" in the latest "Giant Robot." Bertolt Belcht As the wife of a former bike racer with a father-in-law who raced cars, the only two sports ever watched in OUR home are auto-racing and the Tour de France (football - bah! Who needs it?), and I LOVE your INDY coverage! I definitely think that you guys need to do the Tour de France next year and cover the glorious Lance Armstrong as he whips those French bike pussies a THIRD time! Peter's artwork is great too! I love Terry's stuff but it is nice to have a "stylistic break" now and then. Perhaps Peter and Terry could do a "color exchange" - Terry's pastels for Peter's primaries! Just a thought! Hey, the feminist in me LOVED the darling Sarah this year just like the cancer survivor in me ADORES Lance! Hope to see more of your stuff! And start angling for the free trip to France now! Elizabeth "I should be working" Hinkle-Turner Thanks for the kind words Elizabeth. Both Pete and I saw lots of women who feel the same way you do about racing out at Indy. The whole marketing strategy behind Sarah Fisher is to bring a new audience into the sport, and they've already got off to a good start. However, the average Suck reader that Chris and Richard were so worried about actually hates Lance Armstrong. In fact, according to our recent demo test group results, Suck won't be sending us to France next year but the Forbidden City in China, as apparently, the average Suck reader has a nostalgic soft spot for dtente era Sino-US ping pong matches of the early 70s. France is Feed territory, so I guess you'll be joining Chris and Richard over there. As for the Terry-Pete tension over coloring ... wow, have you hit a nerve around here. See, as long as Terry's "Uncle Tim" edits this site, what Terry wants Terry gets — and little Terry likes pastels... Well, Pete, a graduate of the Sorbonne and aforementioned fan of JD, once drunkenly referred to pastels as "the pedestrian's palette" at the Suck Xmas party at Lum Fong's, and Pete and Terry haven't spoken since. Meow, if you know what I mean. Bertolt Borscht Hey, I just read your Indy 500 preview two months late! I can only imagine the weird cross-cultural morass the Speedway will sink into when the Europeans and South Americans roll into town for the inaugural Formula 1 race this September! I can here it now..."Why are they all driving in the wrong direction?" Great piece, Sanford Satyricon Thanks for the compliments Sanford, but jokes about bad driving skills don't fly around here. Try Feed. Yeah, finally, Formula 1 at Indy. Pete and I had to learn the hard way that Indy is open wheel racing, not Formula 1. I made that faux pas in front of James Garner and Jim Nabors and damn if I wasn't bounced from the "Space Cowboys" premiere screening in about ten seconds. Well, live and learn. Burptolt Brickt Your Indy piece is dead accurate except for two things, both relating to the Unser family: 1. Johnny Unser is not a Jr., his dad Jerry Jr. was. 2. You can't really leave out the other Unsers who weren't there: Bobby (3 Wins) and Al Sr. (4 Wins). And of course Al Jr. who was entered this year (2 Wins). Which contrasts with Mario Andretti (1 Win) and Michael Andretti (0 Wins). Great piece! Robert Duncan Jeez, another "fact" guy for Feed! But you're right, Bob. Re your detailed defense of the of the Unsers and out of the blue attack on the Andrettis, you might want to spend some time in Feed's "Fall of the House of Unser" chat room, where the pro-Andretti faction runs roughshod over the Unsers daily. They need a new sheriff 'round those parts, and I nominate you. Bertolt Blechtman Turner Overdrive |
|
||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||
|
|
|||||||||||||||
|
 
|