for 15 September 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY.

Tim Cavanaugh
Special Guest Editor

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Art Director

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Senior Editor

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Production Editor

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Publisher

Sound the alarm! Muster the troops! All follow General Knauss, the Thomas Paine of the 21st Century! Ahhhhh ... who are we kidding? The geeks with the potential for real power are either out at a Babylon Five convention, buying flat front pants and Buddy Holly glasses, lost in a 24-hour acid trip/coding binge or trying to get laid by women who would be out of their league if they lacked wealth and tech chic. The rest of powerless geeks are either at a Babylon Five convention, downloading porn or are whining in chat rooms like you mentioned. It's useless. It is also ironic that the internet, which as a medium/communication device has the most potential ever for establishing a "movement" or potent lobbying force, has produced a culture of such apathy and impotent whining.

Bill Ardolino
<Bill.Ardolino@MeriStar.com>

The Internet has produced movements before. It's largely credited with getting the Seattle protests together, for example, and, um, making a valiant stab at saving "Freaks & Geeks." But the groups that managed these efforts weren't geeks - or, at least, weren't computer geeks - and therefore had some slight familiarity with the real world. They saw the Internet as a tool for altering reality, instead of as reality itself. If computer culture can realize that what happens off-line is relevant to what happens on, then they might have a chance at using this Internet thing to their advantage. Until then, it's nothing but packets flitting back and forth.

Greg Knauss

While you are correct that some woefully misguided decisions have come down recently, keep in mind that individual decisions do not set the law in stone. No federal judge is required to follow the decision that says a domain name is not property, nor the decision that posting original code can be a copyright violation. Identical cases could come up and be decided exactly the other way.

It would be great if every judge could get it right the first time, but that's not always the case. Luckily, our system accounts for the possibility of mistakes with the appeals process. It was, after all, the Supreme Court of California that finally stayed the injunction against Napster, and The US Supreme Court that struck down the CDA.

The legal system may be slow, but it isn't stupid. The system hasn't failed because a couple of judges don't understand technology. You haven't lost any rights because the original owner of sex.com can't recover on a theory of conversion. To have a body of law that shows correct results, and protects established rights, you first have to have a body of law. Some bumps along the way are inevitable.

You might as well argue that the inability of e-mail programs to ignore the period at the end of a sentence when activating a link means the end of punctuation as we know it.

Ted Metzler
<ted@cynical.com>

But bumps along the way have the unhappy habit of becoming well-established mountains. While one federal judges can ignore the decisions of another, they are usually loathe to do so, at least completely, because it's considered bad form.

And the fact that the CDA made it all the way to the Supremes before being justly and rightly killed is terrifying. Given the make-up of the current court - or the make-up of a future, more conservative court - the CDA or something similar might easily become the law of the land. By my way of thinking, it's better to beat down the bumps along the way, just on the off chance they suddenly get too steep to climb.

Greg Knauss

Nice job. Isn't your column ITSELF another post? Another whine?

Lawyers don't rule the world. MONEY rules the world. Money pays for lawyers. If the dotcom billionaires wanted to, they could pay for tons of lawyers and tons of legal action. Unfortunately they don't CARE. They're too busy starting VC firms and buying houses in Woodside. Or conversely, trying to prop up their failing stocks.

The internet becoming a neutered corporate lapdog is HIGHLY PROFITABLE. Those who are in a position to truly fight don't want to, because it would impact their stock options. The rebellious hackers who started it are currently writing GNU software only they will use in between whining Slashdot posts.

Capitalism corrupts absolutely. In college I was politically motivated, progressive, whatever. Now, just seven years later, I am a capitalist, and corrupted. I'm completely materialistic. I care more about my stock than about freedom of speech. Because once it gets to $20/share, i'll be kicking it in the Caribbean and running a bait shop. And the entire whining, insular collection of geeks on the Internet I was once part of but am now so sick of, can go to hell.

Gary Burke
<gburke@emusic.com>

Maybe you shouldn't be counting your worms before they've hatched, Gary. EMusic is currently hovering around 2, less than a tenth of its high. So while you're stuck here with the rest of us, perhaps you should at least pretend to care about your rights - the way the graph is trending, they might be all you have left soon.

Greg Knauss

A. Lizard
<alizard@ecis.com>

Oh, I don't think it's ever been a question of resources or aptitude. It's question of interest and enthusiasm. Up until a few years ago, Microsoft - the largest software company in the world - went completely unrepresented in Washington, DC. For an economic behemoth to ignore the political realities of modern life would be staggering if it weren't so easily explained: they're geeks. Geeks don't like politics. They don't care. They think they've got more important things to worry about.

Which is the problem.

Greg Knauss

If lawyers are moral bulimics Greg Knauss serves as the finger of the fullest one.

Erik Szabados
<w237szabados@hotmail.com>

Thanks! Um. Maybe. Hmmm. Because it could be that... But if... But then...

Aw, hell: Thanks!

Greg Knauss

Dear God,

After reading today's thing, I wanted to say something that I'm sure you've heard before:

I wept. It was so good. Give me more.

Anyway, I knew if I hung in there and looked long enough, it would be there. And there it was.

Right there. There it was. Oh yes.

A million thanks.

<claretoothloose@yahoo.com>

Um. Well. Yes. Glad we could help.

Just as a clarification, though: Did you read the article or achieve orgasm?

Greg Knauss

"Until those who are aware of the problem can turn the energy of a million keystrokes into some coherent action, computer culture - and the freedom it so badly wants protected - is going to be viewed as nothing more than an unruly dog in need of a muzzle. Until the geeks can put away their snotty superiority and muster up enough interest to deal with the law on its own terms, their precious technical achievements are going to be for naught. And until the people who claim to care about the future of the Internet can put down their keyboards, put on suits and learn to fight like attorneys, then all this revolutionary new freedom is moot.

Lawyers rule the world. And don't you forget it."

Unless you happen to be judgment proof.

Note that decryption code for DVDs is widely available, links to it are widely available, drugs over the net are still widely available, Internet stock fraud is still widely available, the Internet vote auction site has been relocated to Bulgaria, and MP3s are still widely available.

Aside from domain name problems, which of the rulings and regs of recent months has had an actual impact "on the ground"? Actually stopped the flow of prohibited bits?

Duncan Frissell
<frissell@panix.com>

So far? Not many. In the future? Who knows? The legal infrastructure is still important, no matter how far underground you think you've burrowed and to remain passively disinterested in its dismantling because you don't think it involves you is foolish. If you've still got a foot in meatspace, then it can still be chewed off.

Greg Knauss

Until people realize that the internet will not change the way society/business works but that business/society will change the way the internet is used we are going to see a lot more dot flops.

There will only ever be one winner in a contest between business interests and whiny internet pioneers and that's business.

Diarmait O'Reilly
<oreillyd@logica.com>

Yep. And while I think that geek action can mitigate - or at least temper - the impact, those who think the Internet is an unstoppable force are about to find out what an immovable object looks like.

Greg Knauss

Excellent column today (9/8) on the truly bizarre laws being spurted out to poleax the troublesome online community. For your next take, though, I'd like some discussion of precisely which level of Hell the MPAA's Jack Valenti deserves consignment to.

Ralph Ward
<rward@boardroominsider.com>

The new wing is currently under construction.

Greg Knauss

i don't think the american government has the infrastructure needed to enforce intellectual property rights all over the world. they don't even have the ability to enforce intellectual property rights in their own geographical area. hell, they don't even have the ability to stop me from smoking marijuana.

C. Maan
<cmaan@julian.uwo.ca>

While I normally take all my legal advice from stoned Canadians, this time I think I might defer to someone a little more grounded in the here-and-now.

Where the hell is that Taco Bell dog, anyway?

Greg Knauss

All true, and very funny as well. But, well, you know, dear Mr Crowley's "do what you will be the sole of the law" isn't really all that much of a debating position. When your stance in court is essentially "anything I want to do that I can do I will do and nyah nyah nyah," you're essentially sticking your head out of the hole and begging for the mallet to slam down on it. I appreciate that this is essentially your own argument, but overreaching and stupidity (except, possibly, in national politics) are rarely winning strategies even without lawyers involved.

Alan Kornheiser
<ASKornheiser@prodigy.net>

Never underestimate the power of over- reaching and stupidity (or, heck, Satanism, for that matter). I mean, Suck's still around.

Greg Knauss

The Shit

Krushchev Remembers, by Nikita Krushchev (authorship disputed), translated by Strobe Talbott

Five-Star Day Cafe Athens, Ga.

Salon's "Action Figures" TV ad

Donna's Famous "Long and Short of It," by Donna Anderson and friends

Two-Lane Blacktop, directed by Monte Hellman (The Anchor Bay/Universal letterboxed edition)

George Bush, Dark Prince of Love: A Presidential Romance, by Lydia Millet (Scribner)

King Kong: The Complete 1933 Film Score, by Max Steiner Moscow Symphony Orchestra, William J. Stromberg conductor (Marco Polo)

Eightball #20, by Dan Clowes (Fantagraphics Books)

The ECW's Little Spike Dudley

Stan Kenton, City of Glass, featuring arrangements by legendary weirdo Bob Graettinger (EMD/Blue Note)

Comix 2000, Edited and published by L'Association, 2000

Star Dudes

Do you know of stuff that doesn't actively suck? Things so good they deserve to make the Shitlist? Send your suggestions to us.