for 3 October 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY.

Tim Cavanaugh
Special Guest Editor

Terry Colon
Art Director

Heather Havrilesky
Senior Editor

Joey Anuff
Publisher

Great stuff. You guys continue to amaze. What a great free read, and no advertising. The mysteries of economics. Time for another Caddyshack fix.

DD
<Nullen@aol.com>

One of the great things about Suck continues to be the lack of advertising on its pages. Sometimes I wish Our Publisher would relax his moral standards and get some, though. I, at least, could use the dough. But the guy just hates money. I think he wrote a book about how stupid it is, or was that a golf instruction video? I'm a little confused these days.

Slotcar H.

Slotcar,

Just a couple of thoughts;

1. You totally ignore the Meatballs franchise and its effect on popular culture. You mean to tell me you don't sing the "C*I*T*'s" song at family gatherings. That you don't chant Spaz, Spaz, Spaz, Spaz at every hot dog eating contest. That when you watched Chris Makepeace in My Bodyguard, you could not help but think of him as Woody the Wabitt.

All I can think is you choose to ignore think cinematic high-water mark due to some sort of old school Haley Mills hand in the warm water incident that is too painful for you to revisit.

2. I am not annoyed by the gopher. My peers and myself cheer for him like the shark in Jaws, like Jason, like Freddy, like Death in a Sweedish movie. So take my advice Mr. Hatebath and step off the gopher.

Your Faithful Reader,

Joseph A. Iacovelli Esq.
<Joseph_Iacovelli@rsausa.com>

Esq.,

Both Chris Makepeace and I thank you for writing in. I was too busy rooting for your mama at the last hot dog eating contest I attended to chant "Spaz," but as for the gopher, you're right. He is like Max von Sydow in The Seventh Seal. Murray's death match with him is like a game of chess played on a golf course of light- and dark-green checkerboard squares. The gopher haunts Murray still. Look at Groundhog Day. Gopher, groundhog, what's the difference? Why is Murray's career so mixed-up with woodchucks whose colloquial names start with the letter G? In this context, the unfunny Murray-vehicle Larger Than Life, with its elephant co-star, starts to seem like a desperate attempt for the star of Meatballs to decisively split with ground squirrels by taking up with a pachyderm.

Slotcar H.

I was at the grocery store the other day and saw a Talking Gopher from Caddyshack! It jorbled more than talked, really. Thought you might care.