for 13 December 2000. Updated every WEEKDAY. |
|||||||||||||||||
![[Suck Staff]](/fish/images/staff.gif){kind=small}
![[Go to the Suck Alumni page]](/fish/images/alumnidex.gif)
|
Filler 12.6.00
Polly, Thanks for not ripping the Greens too hard. It might be my imagination, but it seems like you restrained yourself. I'm still stinging from the words of our local alternative (and liberal) paper, whose editor explained that "Naderites" somehow have "blood on our hands" over this election. Creepy image, huh? We Greens are a sensitive bunch, and we mean well, dammit! Cheers, Scott Patterson
Oh yeah, "We're so sensitive, but we mean so well!" Save it for the Man Movement, Part II buster. Save it for the drum circle in the woods. Save it for tropical punch and 'nilla wafer hour at the Tender Tiny Testicles support group. Jesus. How many times in my life have I found myself catering to the whims of some sensitive, well-meaning asshole? Not very often, actually. Most of the assholes I've known are neither sensitive nor well-meaning. Gee, I wonder why I attract such types. Maybe I should spend my excess cash in therapy so some sensitive well-meaning Green party member can oh-so-gently point out the fact that I'm neither sensitive, nor well-meaning. Oh wait, I'm already doing that. See, if I weren't in therapy, I wouldn't know such obvious things about myself, and all my friends would have to continue to whisper about my insanity behind closed doors. Thanks to my Naderite therapist, my friends feel comfortable openly confronting me about my mental instability. "Sure, Polly, it's possible that I'm a jerk, or maybe this dispute we're having is just more fallout from the fact that you're certifiably Fucked in the Head. You know, like your therapist pointed out last week. And the week before. And the week before." Hurray for therapy! Anyway, Scott, thanks for writing. There are things I'd rather discuss than politics, obviously. Like me, for example. I can't really think of another example. Blood on my hands from ripping too hard, Polly ![[Mr. McFeely Speedy Delivery My Ass]](/fish/images/lettericon.gif)
I have to say that I am disappointed in your childish poking at the 3 million of us that voted for a decent candidate. I don't really see what is so funny about it. We got fed up with the Dems, voted Green and spoiled the election. What is really funny is that Gore, an experienced national politician and V.P. to a popular president, couldn't easily beat a slack-jawed half-wit. I'm getting really tired of seeing people in the media, especially the ones that I respect, whining incessantly about the Green party. If the media was half as liberal as the conservatives say that they are, they would be Green party members. Aaron Fuller
You don't really see what's so funny, huh? I bet you say that to all the girls! I'm tired of the incessant whining, too. Let's get behind the slack-jawed half-wit you helped to elect as president and put this pettiness behind us! Cut me some slack, dude. Childish poking is my middle name. Polly Childish Poking Esther
This is even better than the sock puppet — it shows this '50s family just transfigured with horror at the discovery of a lot of ping-pong balls with faces, singing that most terrifying of Christmas carols, "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" ("he sees you when you're sleeping" et cetera). One little boy in that commercial ought to be in the next M. Night Shymalan movie — he does this look of abject round-eyed terror even better than Drew Barrymore used to in the Poltergiest movies (her last good movies.) Never have I seen a commercial laying it on the line: "we're selling something that's ostensibly cute, but is actually really frightening." I wish I could see headlines that read "Bush Dealt Upset" instead of the pressure on Gore to give up everywhere from the front page to the editorial page. When not golfing, the publisher of the Contra Costa Times is laying down the moral authority about how Gore needs to step down so that the healing can begin. Well, I remember Reagan, too — and I shudder at the thought of all the evil Junior Bush and his gang are cooking up. Right now, the hacks at Time Magazine are probably trying to come up with appreciative essays about how presidential the little weasel is becoming, with the appropriate citations of Henry IV, Part 2 about how much leadership skills W must have learned from closing down all the bars in Midland....make it stop, Polly... Sincerely, Richard Von Busack
Well, Richard, as Don Henley so aptly put it, if wishes were horses, then dreamers would ride. But alas, wishes are not horses, so dreamers are left sitting around with their thumbs up their asses. Polly
I must take issue with your assertion that people would rather get a BJ and eat some pie instead of watching an Astros game. Haven't you received any of those stadium sex video clips in your inbox? Thanks to the mega-stadium, there's always plenty of room for you to get head AND eat some apple pie (insert Double header joke here). Paul Walcutt
Oh, dude. Get your thumb out of your ass. Polly
Listen to me, I give mad prizzys to you guys for finally bringing the blight of lint to the forefront of popular culture. As a Mexican Catholic living in a peckerwood state like Colorado, I identify with their disenfranchisement. Too long has the government fought an unwinable "War on Lint" that has cost the American taxpayer billions of dollars. Lint came to this country like any other ethnic group- looking to contribute in the land of opportunity. Those Italians with their suits should be most sympathetic of them all. I was watching "Frontline" the other night and they said that we've given some government in South America $12.5 million in lint traps! When will it stop? Francisco Velasquez
Yeah, and I love how the anti-lint pundits wave around the threat of a "constitutional crisis" in order to incite fear in the hearts of the lint-friendly. If lint brushes were horses, then anti-lint pundits would ride. But lint brushes aren't horses, so anti-lint pundits sit around daydreaming about getting head at Astros games. Fucking pervs. Polly
idealism doesn't mean wanting something that you haven't got. it means believing in the primacy of the IDEA over the THING. don't expect me to be able to tell you what IDEA and THING are, though. what you're railing against is more accurately called angst. what got you and your little friends so perturbed probably has more to do with the last 100 years of bloodshed and social upheaval than it has to do with their parents giving them a teddy bear or something. Demmy Rooster
You may be perturbed about 100 years of bloodshed, but I'm still pretty sure you didn't get a teddy bear. If IDEAS were horses, then THINGS would own glue factories. Polly
Polly — doesn't it bother anyone else that bush had a boil on his face, not to mention the fact that his running mate just had a heart attack. a boil. on his face. they had to lance it. that means pus. the man to represent our country. this is worse than that one president who used to act in bad movies with monkeys in baby clothes and then we hired him to make decisions for us. pack the travel bong and get in the car. we're going to canada. egads- elena lyman
Oh my god. You mean we actually paid that monkey trainer boy? You know, I think we should put this in perspective. Everyone has a big sack of pus on their face at one point or another. If boils that oozed pus were horses, then dreamers would call for a state-wide recount. I mean, um, wait. If boils were horses, then president-elects would be stampeded. No, here it is. If boils were horses, then they'd get flogged until they leaked pus and died. Flogging dead boils, Polly
White Men Can't Joke "Assuming that ethnicity equals Funny is a mistake made with Canadians, too. In the last thirty years Canada turned out Mike Meyers, John Candy, Dan Aykroyd, Gilda Radner, SCTV, Dave Thomas, Catharine O'Hara, Andrea Martin, Martin Short, Rick Moranis, and The Kids in the Hall. Yet, can anyone name a funny Canadian who came along before Chicago's Second City theater opened a branch in Toronto?" Mort Sahl? Colby
Mort moved to LA when he was a kid and became a stand-up in San Francisco in the early 50s. By the time he was a comedian, proper fluoridated water, American clean living and not so much syrup and bacon at meals funnied him up just fine. I consider Mort as American as Bob Hope. See mortsahl.com. Bert
You need to do some fact-checking, Bert. You write: "In the last thirty years Canada turned out Mike Meyers, John Candy, Dan Aykroyd, Gilda Radner, SCTV, Dave Thomas, Catharine O'Hara, Andrea Martin, Martin Short, Rick Moranis, and The Kids in the Hall. " But Gilda Radner (from Detroit), Andrea Martin (from Maine), and Dave Thomas (from South Carolina, part-time) are Americans. Lemuel
Gee, Lemuel (and I know how you feel pal — my name's Blecht!), Fact checking? Wasn't the whole point of the article that ethnicity and national origin have little to do with being funny? You didn't get all the way down to the second to last graf and not notice that did you? I consider all of the above comics Canadian in the way I consider Brits like Chaplin and Bob Hope part of American comedy or an American like Terry Gilliam to be part of British humor for his Monty Python work or Brazil. Lorne Michaels is Canadian, but all his important work is here in the USA. Gilda Radner could go either way, I suppose, since when she left Second City in Toronto she went to the Lampoon and then SNL in New York. Bert
Dear Mr. Blecht, Bang Improv Studio here in Los Angeles hosts a semi-annual show: Jews Vs. Christians. It's an improv comedy outlet for a largely Second City bred (or influenced) group that divide themselves by religion, are randomly sent to the stage in a group of six, then allowed to go for twenty minutes or so. What can I say? We just did the show again last week and the Jews brought the house down. A shonda on the goyishim! We ended up doing a series of scenes about what happened when a little girl wanted to dance at her Bat Mitzvah. The synagogue was scandalized statewide. Her parents separated from under the strain, but her mother blossomed with her newfound independence. Another congregant produced a play that exposed her rabbi's hypocrisy. It was hilarious and effortless improvisation, because built-in characters are already comic. We've done the show every Easter/Passover and Christmas/Hannukah for three years now, and the Christians are fast to point out that "The Jews Always Win!" I was just emailed your article by one such Protestant. It has got to be that accent. It's hard not to be funny when you're playing those Brooklyny, Aunt Ida-esque schnorrers, schmucks and yadda-yadda-yadda. I loved reading your article, and apologize for not being funnier. Evan Gore
Thanks for writing. As to your annual Xtian vs. Jew comedy jihad, really, how could the Jews be expected to lose on Fairfax Avenue where they have home team advantage? Next time take them all down to Olivera Street and see who gets the last laugh. I've got a mazel tov cocktail with your name on it, pal. Bert
Dear Mr. Blecht, I enjoyed your column. My memories of comedy begin with radio shows of the late 1930s and 1940s. Aside from some of the comics you mention, one program found quite funny by this young kid was "Can You Top This", with its many specifically-ethnic jokes. Cordially, Art Eatman
Hi Art, I remember a TV version of "Can You Top This" done with Morrie Amsterdam from the '70s which was all comedians telling jokes, trying to get the biggest laugh. They had an audience monitor measuring the volume of the audience laugh, and if you were a guest on the show, it didn't do you much good to have Jan Murray for a partner. Bert
How is it that you managed to get through an entire monologue of stand-up, sitcoms, and Jews without once mentioning Seinfeld? That's either an egregious oversight or an impressive display of self-control. Christopher Moore
I'll opt for "impressive display of self-control," only because I never watched the show that much and wouldn't mention it even if I met Jerry Seinfeld. Bert
"Yet, can anyone name a funny Canadian who came along before Chicago's Second City theater opened a branch in Toronto?" Yes. Stephen Leacock Wayne & Shuster Rick Little Leslie Neilsen Alan Thicke Ben Wicks Mort Sahl William Shatner Moreover, I somewhat doubt that all funny Canadians to emerge since the opening of Toronto's Second City owe their wit to that venue, in the same way that all funny Americans don't owe their wit to the original Second City in Chicago. I've never been on stage at the Second City, and believe you me, I'm absolutely, terrifyingly fucking hilarious. Oh, I'm not making you laugh right now? What am I, your goddamn trained monkey? As you can see, assuming Canadians are nice is a mistake too. P.S. Exaggerated surly objection aside, good article. I particularly liked your counter to the "victim theory" in the second paragraph. Might I suggest, though, that Tibetans, Chinese, and Indian untouchables aren't knockin' 'em dead at the Improv because they simply don't speak English? They might still be funny. As for why there aren't more funny Irish, I have no idea. Bono's kind of laughable, but that seems to be it. It may be that they don't need to use words as weapons since they have actual weapons. Oh, and slightly apropos to the subject, check this out. Staggeringly unfunny, and it came from YOUR country. You ought to deport these would-be jokers. Just don't send them here. Peter Lynn
Oh, Pete, where do I start? I mean, on the one hand you're telling me that you have a great sense of humor and on the other you advocate William Shatner (?) and Rich Little as great examples of Canadian comedy. Something's gotta give, and I'm going to have to bet on you being absolutely hilarious because I've seen Little's act. The fact that you brought up Alan Thicke tends to prove my point. Mort Sahl, on the other hand, is a big plus for you guys in your quest for American statehood. But really, looking over the history of Canadian comedy, what really puts you guys on the map all comes from the last thirty years, no? I give you Howie Mandel as a national comic resource, but Second City has turned out the vast majority of Canadian comic talent. Re your theory about Chinese, Indians, Tibetans not speaking English - hey bud, maybe not in Canada, but this is the melting pot and you meet people of color who speak English every day down here. Bert
Although I'm not a huge fan, Wayne and Shuster do predate Second City and are generally considered "funny". Jeremy Wilson
Wayne and Shuster! Wayne and Shuster! Every Canadian who writes in wants to talk about Wayne and Shuster! I'm glad you admit you're not a big fan of Wayne and Shuster, Jeremy, which means you're not really a Canadian or your citizenship may be revoked. Actually, don't they try to kick you out for just speaking English? I was asking a rhetorical question about pre-Second City Canadian Funny. My point is that Canadian comedy takes this giant leap forward when Second City arrives, much, btw, as did Chicago's. The question still holds — why is it we know so many funny Brits, for example, but Wayne and Shuster managed to successfully avoid so many of the trappings of world famous comedians — such as fame? I'm sure they were great, but if the world of Canadian comedy was borne on the shoulders of Wayne and Shuster alone, well, talk about Atlas shrugged. Doesn't John Candy's career alone — not to mention Mike Myers, Aykroyd, and the rest — make my point? Bert
Whoa Hepcat! How can you write a piece about Jews in comedy and not even mention the 3 Stooges? Roadkit
Because I can't stand the Three Stooges? Bert, hepper than God, Blecht
One correction, one speculation, and two comments: The correction: Although Gilda Radner cut her teeth at Second City's Toronto club, she was a Jewish woman from Detroit (my hometown, as well). The speculation: Charlie Chaplin was probably Jewish. Throughout the years, he protested too much ... while older brother Syd Chaplin never made any qualms about his London East End Jewish origins. As for English Jewish humor, Peter Sellers (if it weren't for the Goons, there'd be no Monty Python) and (presently) Ben Elton have left their marks. The comment: I think that Jack Benny was the bravest stand-up comic who ever lived. While his material was never very controversial, what comic has ever had the balls to cross his arms, say one exasperated word, then WAIT for the laughs and WAIT and WAIT? And then, sure enough, the laughs would not only come, but BUILD for maybe two minutes. In many ways, Jack Benny's style of humor conveyed the WASPness of his midwest origins more than his Jewish origins. Being a Jew from the midwest myself, I can attest to the flavor of his comedic style. An added comment: While commenting on midwest Jewish comedy, I'd like to add Soupy Sales' very very Detroit style of Jewish midwest comedy. When Soupy was cooking back in the fifties and early sixties on Detroit local television, his humor reflected the dominant African-American and WASP humor of Motown. Soupy is an unsung comedy hero. Elliot Feldman
Elliot, What a relief to hear from an America Firster amongst all the comical canucks who wrote me. And a Detroit Firster to boot! I won't sing about Soupy, but maybe David Bowie could, since Soupy's sons spent much time as Bowie sidemen (true). Re: your letter, I'll offer you nearly the same in return — one speculation, one correction, but only one comment. The correction: Gilda, yes, an American by birth, but she goes both ways for me on the American/Canadian issue because of Toronto Second City, just as you'd consider Chaplin part of American comedy or Terry Gilliam part of British comedy. The whole point of the story was that nationality and race, etc., mean little and that funny can get plugged into all kinds of comics genres and styles — stand-up. sit-coms, slapstick, etc. The speculation — Chaplin was not Jewish, as David Robinson, in his book "Chaplin," exhaustively reveals in his tracing of the Chaplin family tree back to I don't know when but so far back that I think Jews hadn't been invented yet. Many people thought Chaplin was Jewish because he would refuse to answer the question of his religion out of political correctness (sort of like people today who pointedly say "Why does it matter?" when you ask if someone is gay or not). Chaplin also made the Jew-friendly "The Great Dictator" (1940), was openly Leftist, he stood up for Jews quite vocally when he heard anti-Semitic comments — all of which lead lots of people at the time to assume he was Tribe. Comment one: I'm a Midwestern Jew, too, but disagree about Benny as WASP Midwesterner in this sense — his humor was entirely based on self-effacement (common in Jewish ethnic humor), his miserly nature (need I explain?), and the constant presence of the violin was a Jewish cultural statement in itself (a touch of "Fiddler on the Roof" and that whole tradition). Benny's restraint may indeed be a Midwestern trait. Buster Keaton comes to mind here, as a man who stayed deadpan even when houses fell on him. As for Benny's bravery in saying only one word — well, then, they should build a statue to Harpo. Thanks for writing. BTW, Detroit comedy can currently be seen on SNL which features Jerry Miner, an actor from Second City's Detroit bureau. Bert
I usually love Suck.com's insights to life but presenting the articles with inaccurate or information does not really help your case. I suggest researching topics thoroughly before you publish. Also you must understand that I do not believe you are wrong in saying that comedy isn't a "Jewish" thing anymore and is American but your support is a bit weaker than presented. I applaud your work, dedication, and courage in writing about real stuff concerning sensitive subjects. Here are some neglected examples: Bill Maher (Both Jewish & Catholic) Politically Incorrect Jon Stewart from the Comedy Central Daily Show is Jewish. Interesting to note that Roseanne who you comment on was jewish. And you talk about Vaudeville how about The Flying Karamazovs? Howard Stern too! David Schwimmer is jewish from friends You also leave out one of the best ever standup driven sitcoms: Seinfeld, with Jewish stars and some Jewish cast. Any Kaufman — I thought he was pretty funny. These guys definitely were pioneers: Three Stooges Paul Reiser on Mad About You not to long ago! Check out these links: Ethan Stone
Hello Ethan, First, thanks for your Jew list. What I said in the story is that at this point in time stand-up and sitcoms have no clear ethnic divisions in that people of all races, creeds, hairstyles, and what-have-you use them. I never said there weren't any Jews involved in comedy today. I said that those formats were no longer specifically a Jewish culture and that, like African-American roots in rock music, it has simply become American culture. And the Three Stooges were not pioneers — they were throwbacks to slapstick vaudeville. The Stooges were the Gallaghers and Carrottops of the '30 and '40s and I'm always happy to point out that a Bug Bunny cartoon would always outgross those hacks at the box office. Bert
|
|
|
||||||||||||||
![[Suck.com]](/daily/images/lilsuck.gif)
|
|||||||||||||||||
![[Arrow]](/fish/images/arrow.gif){kind=icon}
![[Contacting Us]](/fish/images/contactus.gif)
![[Contributors Index]](/fish/images/contributors.gif)
|
|||||||||||||||||
![[Barrel]](/daily/images/lilbarrel.gif)
|
![[Net.Moguls]](/fish/images/mogul.gif)
|
||||||||||||||||
![[The Smoking Gun]](/daily/images/lilgun.gif)
|
![[Suck-o-matic]](/fish/images/techim.gif)
![[Link To Tech Notes]](/fish/images/technotes.gif){kind=small}
|
||||||||||||||||
![[Tim Cavanaugh]](/fish/staff/images/tim.gif)
![[Terry Colon]](/fish/staff/images/terry.gif){kind=small}
![[Heather Havrilesky]](/fish/staff/images/heather.gif)
![[Joey Anuff]](/fish/staff/images/joey.gif)