for 24 April 2001. Updated every WEEKDAY.

Tim Cavanaugh
Special Guest Editor

Terry Colon
Art Director

Heather Havrilesky
Senior Editor

Joey Anuff
Publisher

I spent some time in Australia recently and I think that there has been an error in the translation of the Australian term "Fosters" to the American "Beer". In my observation, the term would more appropriately translate to "Beerlike substance that induces sniggering in Australians when ordered by American tourists who are obviously trying to 'go native'."

In the course of my research, I never saw any Australian order a Fosters anywhere, but I saw a lot of Americans having the "piss taken out of them" (another colorful Aussie colloquialism) when they ordered a Fosters, generally in a loud, ostentatious voice. I think that the Australians have developed the brand as an easy way to prevent "Yanks" or "Seppos" from walking among them unnoticed. If only we had been so clever with the Canadians, we would have seen the infiltration of our entertainment industry coming and "Titanic" would have been a limited-release indy film shown in select theatres near Yellowknife. Hindsight is 20/20 I suppose.

Sincerely, and G'day,

Brandon Pierce
<brandon.pierce@mindspring.com>

Hi Brandon.

Perhaps you were mispronouncing the term. I have it from several native sources that "Fosters" should be pronounced with the primary stress on the second syllable, like this: "bog WA-ter."

The real culprit here, of course, is too much international travel. The Titanic never would sunk in the first place, if people would stop tempting fate and stay at home, refining their misperceptions and prejudices about strange lands and peoples without so much unpleasant comingling.

E.L. Skinner

In case I'm not the 1,259,783,942th person to tell you: it's "coral" not "corral." It is NOT against the law to remove a corral in Australia.

Frank H.
<norrico@nyc.rr.com>

Actually, you were the first and last to quarrel over coral. Now if you'd