Hit and Run
Why the hell would you bash
the TV rating system
(describing content with
letter abbreviations) that
actually provides the viewer
with information so that he
can make up his own mind
about the show's suitability
for viewing? I'm sure a San
Francisco hippie mom might
not have a problem with
sexual content but would
lunge at the set to turn off
Stallone mowing down the
population of a Third World
country, whereas a Texas mom
might do the reverse. The
point is, parents want a
rough idea of what (if
anything) a show contains
that they might not want
their kids to watch, and the
age-based ratings don't give
them this (or any other)
information. You seem to
think the parents should
foresee the future plot lines
of all their kids' shows:
"parents ... [should] figure
out that a show, say, about
six single New Yorkers will
undoubtedly feature lots of
sexual innuendo...." Bear in
mind that many parents,
unlike yourselves, are not
writers and cannot be
expected to guess at the
shows' content and
development. The age-based
ratings work OK for movies
because only several are
released in a given year, and
they are heavily promoted.
Thus, everyone has been
educated as to the content of
these movies, albeit not by
the ratings. A hundred times
as many TV programs are shown
in this same time period, so
a parent cannot know in
advance (from friends who've
seen the episode, from
promos) what a particular
show contains, nor should
they have to spend half an
hour "researching it." Short
of letting the kids watch TV
only in their presence, I
think the content-based
rating system is a help to
these concerned parents.
Ashley Jacobs
<ajacobs@mystech.com>
Wow. It must be hard not being
a writer and having no
ability to draw conclusions
or guess at anything.... But
bear in mind that this
article's writers, unlike
yourselves, are not parents
and cannot be expected to
guess at your mind's content
and development.
But we'll get off your case
real quick-like, because
there's nothing we fear more
in this world than Concerned
Parents.
More Misfired Mail Re: Hanson
To: <nohanson@thesuck.net>
Psst Psst, when was the last
time you looked at Isaac's
pubic hairs? And anyone
anonymous wouldn't be able to
have an email address! I
don't give a rat's ass if you
don't like them but I don't
want 30 letters telling me
so!!!!! Who asked you to come
to my page?? get a life... If
all you can do is write
Hanson Haters letters then if
you do it must be pretty
pitiful ... at least be
creative.
Anyone wanting to see Isaac's
pubic hairs would have to be
pretty creative, if you ask
us.
Suckism Sucks
I like Suck. I like the
masthead (Suckhead), the
typeface (Suckface), the
pithy handles your writers
dream up (Suckstaff), and the
self-deprecating asides to
drugs and unemployment and
the hand that feeds you
(Suckbarbs). Hell, I even
like the way you yank the
skate laces of the Canadian
populace (SuckCanuck). But
through all this I have one
nagging doubt: If I like Suck
and it turns out that Suck
really sucks, am I a sucker?
Or just another Sucker?
Warren Fick
<wfick@parkergrp.com>
Suckstaff say that those who
read and like Suck are
"Sucksters." Those who refer
to themselves as "Sucksters"
are "Suckers." Those who
don't trust themselves and
think it might "turn out"
that Suck really sucks are
"suckers": pathetic and
desperately wanting for
brand-identity.
Now it's back to the crack
pipe before our Masters at
Wired knock over this
elaborate house of cards and
send us out on the streets
where we belong....
Might Magazine
Hey suckheads,
I saw your thing on Might
magazine who were so kind as
to publish my first-ever
article in their
second-to-last issue. Might
was the kind of thing that
was too good to be true - not
only was a magazine surviving
in San Francisco, but it was
the best thing since Adam
Rich's death. I'm glad
Might's dead - it scared me.
It scared me bad.
Eliot Van Buskirk
<eliotvb@cnet.com>
Hey, we're a magazine
surviving in San Francisco
... or is that the crack pipe
talking? Anyway, you should
know that anyone who calls us
"suckheads" and/or refers to
his/her inside knowledge of
Might is a "sucka," see also
"Gonna Get You, Sucka."
Subject: The death of Might
Say it isn't so! Is Might
really dead? I mean, I knew
they were asking for money
even more desperately than
ever before, but....
Damn, damn, damn.
Are they going to refund my
subscription?
Mindy Matter
<mindy@sunset.hob.com>
Of course they will. Sucka.
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