for 11 November 1998. Updated every WEEKDAY.

Oedipus Wrecks

Did you read the book?

Just curious.

<abrown@OpenMarket.com>

It didn't seem necessary,
given Harris' wonderfully
comprehensive subtitle: "Why
Children Turn Out the Way
They Do, Parents Matter Less
Than You Think, and Peers
Matter More." Since I was
just using the book as a
jumping-off point for a
discussion about
peer-oriented TV shows, I
figured that title and the
half-dozen articles I read
about the book were enough
for my glib, superficial
purposes.

Not that curious, alas,

Huck

I think you're doing a real
disservice here. To call
these modern-day Jerry's Kids
"real people" is to fail to
acknowledge all their hard
work as hired shills. I'm
tired of people not getting
the recognition that,
frankly, they deserve for
their thespian work on Jerry!
The world has always been
hard on struggling actors,
and your blatant failure to
do justice to Jerry
Springer's show as a haven
for these young hopefuls
(some still holding onto
dreams of Hollywood and
excessive substance abuse) ...
well, it makes me sad.

Keep up the good work.

Ben
<bencochran@hotmail.com>

That whole they're-not-real-
they're-actors theory was a
marketing ploy dreamed up by
Wunderkind Springer producer,
Nathan Danielson, to stir up
some controversy. I have
personally interviewed
several Springer guests and
am satisfied that they are
indeed "real."

Huck

Nothing's Shocking

Hi,

For the second time in four
or five years I must
unsubscribe to your
newsletter. It's a shame,
too. I enjoy the
content very much; it's the
name that is the problem.

It's your gig. You can name
it as you see fit. I would
think, though, that four or
five years ago you may have
"needed" the name for "shock"
value, to draw attention, to
obtain subscribers. I doubt
that is any longer necessary.

Perhaps at this point you
should "poll" your readers. I
think you may be the
"shocked" one at this time.

Please UNSUBSCRIBE me at this
time. Thank you.

Regards,

Royce DeBow
<RDBow@Pitnet.net>
Cedarburg, Wisconsin

Ah, perhaps you should
consider signing up for our
"Frequent Unsubscriber"
program. You'll be the oldest
unsubscriber in the bunch,
considering "Suck" has only
been around for three years!

Anyway, here's a thought:
Let's "poll" all our readers
in "Wisconsin" and see what
they "think."

Attention readers from
"Wisconsin": Write in and
tell us whether our name is a
"problem" for you or not. Do
we "need" the name for
"shock" value or does it
"offend" unnecessarily?

Earnest Goes to Camp

Today, during a discussion in
English class of To the
Lighthouse, indeed, during my
desperately vague comments
hoping to hide the fact I
hadn't yet read it, we
started talking about Joyce,
and his presence on The List.

I heaped scorn upon it,
drawing from your article for
inspiration ... my teacher
said: "Well, what can you
do?"

My mind raced. My retort?
"Read the books, not the
list."

I think that should be my new
motto. It's better than my
last one, which I cribbed
from someone's .sig ...

btw, tho' I haven't read it,
To the Lighthouse sounds like
an early stab at hypertext!
You should look into this.

A postliterate Canuck,

Nick Wolfe
<eneyeseekay@www.hotmail.com>

Don't know what article
indicated to you that James
Joyce, who has furnished our
culture with innumerable
literary devices, allusions,
Suck aliases, and better
readers, is deserving of
scorn, let alone heaps of it.
But boy, your teacher must
have been way impressed when
you declared: "Hey, I know
Joyce is for shit because it
said so in Suck!"

Preliterately,

Sucksters

Dear Sucksters: I'm not sure
what sort of teenagers are
congregating in your
building's entryway, but the
kids I'm around absolutely
love this Earnestness
bullshit. Don't underestimate
Matchbox 20, Goo Goo Dolls,
and Titanic. The weepy
teenage girls I know admire
them in public, while the
weepy teenage boys borrow
copies and listen to/watch
them at home. Teenagers
aren't all as smart as you
think. It's possible that the
kids in your entryway are
more intellectually apt than
my classmates, because most
of the kids I know wouldn't
understand irony if it
whapped them in the face. Or
whatever it is that irony
does. I'm guessing that
"Earnestness" is going to be
with us for a while. It's
appalling to see that some
students at my high school
are completely without humor.
They just can't grasp
anything that isn't serious.
Seriousness is something that
everyone can understand, and
something that most teenage
kids think they can relate to
- It's SO hard being a
middle-class white teenager
these days - and apparently
something that sells.

Before you assume that most
teenagers are any more
emotionally mature than an
average 8-year-old, make sure
you've talked to some AVERAGE
teenagers.

Jon Black
<jblack@dailyinterlake.com>

You may be right. I went to
high school in the 'hood,
where earnestness tended to
take a back seat to character
assassination and routine
beatings (often of me). Which
is probably kind of strange
considering that these
middle-class white teenagers
you refer to tend to think of
Inner City Youths as somehow
more "real" or "legit" than
they are.

As for the weepy teenage boys
borrowing copies to listen
to/watch, I suspect this
falls under the "pathetic
efforts to suck up to weepy
teenage girls" category.
That's a timeless spectacle.

Less emotionally mature than
the average 8-year-old,

Bartel

I typically greet new
programming by the "younger"
networks (UPN, WB, Fox) with
the same enthusiasm as having
a Rottweiler clamp itself
onto my upper thigh. When I
was forced by my (now
ex-)roommate to sit through
the premiere episode of
Felicity, I could feel the
iron jaws closing on my leg.
Ironically, it was not a lack
of realism that caused me to
feel this way, but a surfeit
of it. Having just gotten out
of college within the past
few years, I recognized the
representation of Felicity's
melodramatic late-teen angst
and confusion as being fairly
well on target. But, you know
what? I just got done dealing
with these people; I would
sooner face the Rottweiler
than have to watch them on
TV.

Tom Maddox
<lmaddox@tigger1.nado.hp.com>

Realism? You mean the fact
that Felicity's freshman dorm
room in New York is bigger
than the cathedral at Tours?
Or that Ben's hair is as
immovable as granite? Or is
it just the gritty street
scenes? You're right, it's so
hyper-real it gives me
flashbacks.

Bartel

In response to your 27
October posting about the
state of teen television.

Of course the television
market is going after the
teens. In all economic times,
especially ones where
double-income parenting and
single-parent families are
the norm and the middle class
is shrinking (and not because
everyone is making the shift
to upper class), parents
sacrifice for the
children.... The male wolf
gives up the rabbit kill to
the mother who, in turn, gives
them to the pups, leaving the
adults to remain hungry. It
is no different for humans.

At 30, my philosophy about
consumerism is: used first,
wholesale or on-sale second,
retail never. Brand names
happen only by accident or
maybe occasionally at
Marshalls. I specifically
boycott all products that
tell me to buy them....
Unfortunately, our kids have
not learned that yet, and
they still struggle with peer
status and must behave and
dress accordingly. As such
they become one of the only
markets for many different
categories of consumer goods.
Kids have free time and no
overhead....

I turned to Felicity because
of one thing. She's hot.
After 10 minutes I had to
change the station because I
was getting nauseous. The
acting was almost as
horrendous as the daily
soaps. Bursting with
idiocy.....

Critics on Felicity: "An
emotive tour de force ...
bursting with honest
sentiment." "Searing in its
intensity." "A drama that is
intense because it is real,
every minute [in sharp
contrast to a TV culture
that] has rarely had the
resolve, particularly in
recent years, to wear its
heart on its sleeve with a
really good drama."

Real!?! Are these reviewers
for real? Were they watching
the same show I was?

Shows that identify with teen
angst are like asthma
products. Cover the symptoms,
but NEVER, NEVER solve the
problem. That would eliminate
the market. "Tough being a
teen, we know, so buy our
product." How about, "Tough
being a teen, well, being an
adult is far tougher." Or
"Why would anyone really want
that?" The shows geared to
the youth act like the weight
of the world is soooo heavy on
teens. Here's a thought, tell
the youth that it is the time
of life for them to live,
love, and learn, and that the
transition is merely a state
of mind.

Paul C. Doyle Jr.

Editor, Vermont Review
<pcdnv@vermontel.com>

Wow, talk about a
point-by-point response. All
the critical reviews I cited
were real, except the one
from Orange Julius, which I
stole from a high-school pal.

But let me just call you on
two points:

1) What is it with all these
people complaining about big
corporations trying to sell
products to unsuspecting
teens? Ever heard of the
American Way?

2) "How about, 'Tough being a
teen, well, being an adult is
far tougher.' Or 'Why would
anyone really want that?' The
shows geared to the youth act
like the weight of world is
soooo heavy on teens."

How about "When I was your
age we had to walk five miles
to school in the snow
barefoot, while keeping
swizzle sticks clamped
between our butt cheeks?"
Adult problems are obviously
tougher than teen problems,
but that's why they're
usually reserved for adults.
Being a teenager was and
remains no picnic. The
drinking age alone ensures a
painful adolescence. For me,
adult life is infinitely
preferable to teenhood. But
then things were pretty tough
when I was a teenager, what
with Grant laying siege to
Richmond and all.

Bartel